Special survey study offers an inside look
at how President’s loyal supporters view the world
This hardcore group blames the media, Congress, Democrats, Republicans, CIA, FBI, environmentalists, scientists, and disloyal people in his inner circle for all of his problems in the White House
By David Maril
NO MATTER how many times President Donald embarrasses the nation with his lack of etiquette, ethics or judgment, his base supporters continue to believe he s the greatest thing to hit Washington since the White House was built.
No matter how low he drops in different national polls, there will always, apparently, be a diehard bunch of his boosters who will never allow his favorability rating to drop much below 30 percent.
The shocking aspect of Trump’s ratings is that 29 out of 100 people polled will always believe he’s doing a decent job.
Who comprises this diehard group?
It turns out that Trump was not exaggerating a year ago when, during the campaign, he boasted he could shoot somebody and not lose votes.
WHAT MAKES THESE PEOPLE so loyal? What will it take for them to give him an unfavorable rating?
It doesn’t seem to matter that the former FBI Director James Comey has branded him a liar and said, under sworn testimony, that the president tried to get him to back off the FBI investigations related to Russia’ s influence on the 2016 campaign.
Would these stooge supporters consider it a stroke of genius if Trump continues to insult our allies and cozy up to more of the despicable dictators around the world?
You just wonder what it would take to shake their confidence in this master publicity monger who could have also been a billionaire selling patented medicine and wrecked used cars.
Who exactly are these supporters?
What are their views, likes and dislikes?
WELL, TO FIND THE ANSWER, we went to a Les Philling, a stout profiler with an established and sudsy track record. Having written the book on categorizing beer drinkers and favorite hangover remedies, he’s eminently qualified to interpret what the results of a comprehensive study would probably reveal.
The tenacious Philling hopped to it and, mugging for the camera with a glass of ale, poured over his results. Here are the highlights:
OF THE DIEHARD Trump supporters, 62 percent believe the Brooklyn Bridge continues to be for sale for the right price.
OF THIS GROUP, 44 percent hang wolfsbane in their homes to drive off vampires.
AN ASTOUNDING TOTAL of 88 percent feel the late Richard Nixon was framed when he resigned because of Watergate.
ALMOST 30 PERCENT of these backers believe the earth is flat.
WHEN IT COMES TO CARS, 62 percent rate the Edsel as the best designed car of the 20th century.
DESPITE WHAT RALPH NADER says, 59 percent believe the Ford Pinto was the safest car built in Detroit.
ALMOST 65 PERCENT rate the Corvair their favorite compact sports car.
ON THE ISSUE OF FUEL ECONOMY, 85 percent believe they are fulfilling their patriotic duty if their cars and trucks crack the double-figure mark (10.0) in miles per gallon.
OVER 93 PERCENT OF THESE supporters believe Russia is spelled Ressha, the way Trump pronounces it.
MORE THAN 70 PERCENT OF Trump backers over 21 believe that Vladimir Putin is the Russian reincarnation of Winston Churchill.
SLIGHTLY LESS THAN 89 percent see Trump hotels as the natural places for world leaders to stay without any conflict of interests.
MORE THAN HALF OF THESE SUPPORTERS believe credit card companies encourage low minimum payments strictly as a favor and courtesy to their customers.
ALL AGREE THAT BANKS AND WALL STREET can serve consumers better without any government agencies monitoring what they do.
OVER A THIRD BELIEVE that throwing salt over your left shoulder brings good luck.
THE MAJORITY OF THESE boosters believe that car-pooling to conserve fuel is socialistic.
THE POLL REVEALED THAT 44 PERCENT of this group believes that people should have the freedom of choice to decide for themselves if they want comprehensive healthcare coverage.
THE MAJORITY believes emergency rooms eliminate the need to pay and sign up for health coverage.
NINE OUT OF 10 credit Trump with discovering and bringing to light the fact that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE, 80 percent of this group believe Trump is the most trustworthy president since Honest Abe.
ON THE SUBJECT OF GLOBAL WARMING, 57 percent think it’s Al Gore’s invention, following up his discovery of the Internet.
AMAZINGLY, 98 PERCENT THINK Time Magazine should pick Trump rightwing nationalist advisor Steve Bannon as its Man of the Year.
ALMOST HALF OF TRUMP supporters think Brexit is a type of SOS scrubbing pad.
OVER 70 PERCENT BELIEVE that Trump is one of the country’s most generous philanthropists.
HALF OF THIS GROUP feels that Trump has accomplished more in his first five months than even Franklin Roosevelt did in more than three terms.
ALL OF THESE TRUMP BOOSTERS believe if it had not been for voter fraud, their man would have dominated the popular vote.
AS FAR AS STAYING INFORMED, this group believes the most reliable news sources for factual and objective information are Trump tweets, Fox & Friends, rumors on conspiracy websites, rightwing talk shows, and gossip on the streets.
ALL ARE IN AGREEMENT that the mainstream media kills coverage of all the great work and accomplishments going on in the Trump administration relating to tax reform, job creation, protecting the environment, reforming healthcare and reestablishing U.S. prestige around the world while looking out only for ourselves.
THEIR MOST TRUSTED newsperson is disgraced taskmaster Bill O’Reilly, who they rank in the same category as Edward R. Murrow.
MORE THAN HALF OF THESE supporters hunt for pots of gold when they see a rainbow.
ALL AGREE THAT TRUMP’S personal and financial empire tax returns are nobody’s business but his own and feel he is above reproach.
MORE THAN HALF OF HIS BOOSTERS would like him to appoint more family members to cabinet and staff positions.
AND FINALLY, 98 percent believe this survey is factual and accurate.
David Maril has been a columnist, sports editor and copy editor at three newspapers published in Massachusetts, winning numerous writing and section-design awards. As sports editor of the Milford Daily News, he covered the Boston Red Sox, Celtics and the New England Patriots. At the Brockton Enterprise he served as vice president of the newspaper’s guild, dealing with contract negotiations and workforce issues through difficult economic times. He also served on the board of the Boston Chapter of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America, where he is a lifetime member and voter in Major League Baseball’s annual Cooperstown Hall of Fame balloting. For several years was a columnist for Voice Of Baltimore. The son of the late artist Herman Maril, whose work is included in over 100 museum collections, David splits his time between Cape Cod, MA and Baltimore, MD. He currently serves as president of the Herman Maril Foundation, which supports curatorial projects, art education programs and exhibitions related to the study of his father’s work. The website, featuring his father’s artwork, is hermanmaril.com. A graduate of Park School in Brooklandville, MD, David majored in English at Clark University in Worcester, MA.
If you wold like to comment on this blog David can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.